Yay for a new year to accomplish your goals! Yay for a fresh start in 2017! And yay for finally living your best life!
Except sometimes New Year's resolutions are the worst. Once January hits and you recover from your NYE hangover, the pressure is on. After that, it's one uphill battle. Well, at least till mid-February when you just start living life like it's 2016 again.
If you've ever made a resolution, you've probably had one of these universal thoughts about it—no matter how long it stuck.
Behold, our truth bombs:
1. "I'm gonna crush all my goals! (Maybe.)"
You are so motivated—until you realize that running more than two miles is exhausting, kale tastes like plastic, and working on that creative endeavor after your actual JOB-job is easier said than done. You sigh and resolve to switch to spinach tomorrow. Or one of these zoodles recipes:
2. "Pretty sure yoga wasn't this expensive when it was invented 5,000 years ago."
After proudly forking over $40 for an unlimited month of fancy hot yoga and promising to go every day the rest of your life, your soul is restored. But then it's time to pony up for the monthly membership fee...
3. "I would commit homicide for a cup of coffee."
Why the hell did you try to give up caffeine again?
4. "So eating clean is totally doable…90 percent of the time."
You've read nothing but horror stories about what processed food does to your body—that's why you decided to swear off Big Macs for good. Well, that is, until it's 2 a.m., you're finishing a bar crawl, and need grease STAT. Also, cupcakes. Are cupcakes clean?
5. "Honestly, who can really save that much money—in thiseconomy?"
You've really got the best of intentions for socking away dough, but then stuff starts to come up, like unexpected car repairs, a baby shower you're helping host, or the existence of Nordstrom Rack.
6. "Reducing the ol' carbon footprint is easier said than done."
Walking more and driving less seems easy enough until you remember that January isn't the ideal time to travel on foot unless one of your resolutions is also acquiring frostbite.
7. "I'm only human, dammit!"
When you swore off cursing in the New Year, you didn't realize how difficult it would be to hold in that beloved F bomb when somebody cuts you off in traffic or in line at the froyo place—is there really a difference?
8. "How about I reserve just one closet for the overflow?"
Sure, you resolved to be a Kondo the sh*t out of your apartment, but what if you end up really needing that extra kettlebell, spoon rest, or set of whiskey glasses you got on clearance at TJ Maxx? Emergencies happen.
9. "Psh, I've already got this 'bikini body' on lock."
Having vowed to get in the best shape of your life, you soon realize that perfection is not a requirement for wearing a bathing suit, so you decide to bust out the self-tanner, flaunt what your momma gave you, and treat yo'self to some ice cream.